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To Read:
“Omg how can they do that to you??? It’s SO unfair!!”
“Damn them to hell! You deserve better!!!”
“Wah why you want to be so nice to your mother-in-law? It’s not like she’s so nice to you right?”
“Yalor yalar yalor!!! Don’t need to work so hard if they don’t appreciate you!”
We all need to talk to someone or just vent when we’re going through a difficult time. However, who we choose to seek advice from, is incredibly important.
When we’re going through a breakup, problems with family or stress at work, we definitely want empathy and maybe even a good shoulder to cry on, but beyond that, what need to know is how to solve our problems positively.
The advice we want and the advice we need can be two completely different things. Our ego wants someone to agree with us and complain alongside us, but what we actually need, is someone who can offer us a perspective on how we can approach our difficult situation in a way that can help us move forward.
What we don’t want, is for it to turn into a bitching session. Of course it feels good when our friends agree with us and even get angry on our behalf. Yet, what they’re doing is merely adding fuel to the fire, where instead of helping us calm down, think rationally and strategise on how to solve our problems positively, they’re just catering to what our ego wants to hear.
Some friends may give advice that isn’t taking us down the path of self-reflection and only serves to make us feel more righteous and angry towards our situation.
And it isn’t our friend’s fault - they’re just looking out for us. It is up to US to learn how to discern between helpful advice and unhelpful advice.
We don’t want to continuously go to someone who makes us “feel better”, but in reality we’re still stuck in the same place of bitterness and anger.
When deciding on who to talk to and what advice we should take, we can always just ask ourselves, “Is this advice going to make my situation better, or is it going to make my situation worse?” At the end of the day, take the advice that can best help you be happy, always.
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